Miscellaneous Commercial Entries

Created: 2011-08-14 12:10 -07:00 | Views: 21

"In an urn!"


Years ago when watching television one afternoon, a commercial for some form of health product or insurance came on. It was a grandfather talking to his granddaughter at a wedding. The grandfather was initially concerned about his own mortality, worried that he wouldn't be able to see his granddaughter grow up. Upon realizing the quality of the product the commercial was advertising, his fears were allayed. At the end, the granddaughter asks him, "Grandpa, will you be at my wedding?" Smiling, he answers "Sure, honey. I'll be there.", to which Josh immediately blurted out "In an urn!" Everybody who has heard this story has been appalled yet highly amused. Jesse, one of Adam and Josh's friends, has been known to humorously call Josh a bastard in response to the account.

"The pain in my soul remains"


Around the same time, Adam and Josh witnessed a commercial for a toothpaste catering to those with sensitive teeth and gums. The commercial ends with a man victoriously exulting "The pain in my teeth is gone!" In response, Adam added in a pained, introspective voice "But the pain in my soul remains..." Mike, one of Adam's friends, is particularly amused at the implication that the man is disappointed that the toothpaste did not solve all of his problems.

Art Instruction Schools


During the summer, Adam and Josh would frequently wake up early on Saturdays to watch anime on the Sci-fi Channel. Whether they were awake for it or not, they would often videotape whatever was on. One of the commercials that was often played was for Art Instruction Schools, who offered a free mail-in art test. Whenever Adam and Josh would watch the tape, they would fast forward through the commercials to save time. This commercial was shown so frequently that they could practically recite it from memory. When fast forwarding, however, since there was no sound, Adam would usually provide his own version of the commercial. The only aspect of the commercial Adam could comment on due to the speed was the free mail-in test. Using the Kirby voice, he would speak of the test as if that were the product being sold. In a rapid pace, he would say "Here'sapieceofpaperitfoldsalotandyoucanturnitaroundit'sreallycoolbuyit". The details would often change from instance to instance, but it would always end with "it'sreallycoolbuyit".

Zoobooks


Another commercial Adam and Josh would often see was for the children's magazine Zoobooks. The magazine features articles and activities about animals. In the commercial, two children are seen looking through a magazine when a small monkey cautiously approaches them from behind, as if interested in the magazine too. Josh took the monkey's approach to mean that the monkey intended to hurt the children, but in the spirit of fair play made them aware of this. In the Kirby voice, Josh would say in a somewhat hesitant tone, "Hey, I-I'm going to kill you guys, okay?"

During the commercial, multiple pictures of various animals were displayed. One of these pictures was a closeup of a camel. The camel was looking at the camera with what Josh interpreted as a fatigued expression. As if to describe what the camel was thinking, Josh said in a gruff voice, "Oy." Adam took this as proof that the camel had been through many hardships, and that the picture represented him "weathering the storm".

Categories: TV Commercials | Mythos